* Best picture Oscar goes to “Birdman.” That pretentious fool Sean Penn blurted “who gave him his green card?” in reference to director Alejandro Inarritu, which shows that Mexican- Americans are still fair game for racial jibing.
* Let’s hope this is the last year for Neil Patrick Harris as Oscars host. He may be talented, but he always reminds me of the singer for Fun.
* And now Matthew McConaughey gives the best actress award to Julianne Moore for, I forget the name of the film. Let’s face it, she won for “Boogie Nights.”
* Best actor Eddie Redmayne for “The Theory of Everything,” the Stephen Hawking thing.
* Best adapted screenplay Oscar goes to “Imitation Game.” Amazing speech by Graham Moore, really the best moment of the Oscars tonight. Moore talks about how he tried to kill himself at age 16 because he felt like he didn’t belong. But here he is tonight winning an Academy Award. It gets better.* Best director goes to Alejandro Inarritu of “Birdman” over Richard Linklater. A bit of a surprise. We can forget about “Boyhood” winning best picture.
* “Birdman” wins for best original screenplay, upsetting a couple of former Austinites named Anderson and Linklater. This bodes well for Birdy in top categories.
* Now Lady Gaga‘s doing “The Sound of Music,” which, it turns out, is not one of my favorite things. As if this show wasn’t enough like the Tony Awards. Civil Rights, Julie Andrews- it IS 1965 all over again. Too bad they couldn’t figure out a way to merge “Climb Every Mountain” with Dr. King’s legacy. Shouldn’t Julie Andres have vomited all over Lady G?
* Best song goes to “Glory.” John Stevens and Lonnie Lynn won, so what are Common and John Legend doing up there? OK, that’s they real names. Love that Legend brought up that more black men are in prison today than were slaves in the early 1860s. Prison is much wost than slavery because you can’t be with your family.
* Best line of the night for Neil Patrick Harris: “Benedict Cumberbatch… the sound you get when you ask John Travolta to pronounce ‘Ben Affleck.'”
* Best documentary Oscar goes to “Citizenfour.” Edward Snowden is a no-show at the podium.
* Best Editing award goes to “Whiplash.” Was rooting for Sandra Adair who did such a great job with “Boyhood.”
* Tasteful, elegant art for the “In Memoriam” sequence.
*Emmanuel “Chivo” Lubezki wins for best cinematography for “Birdman.” He shot some of Terence Malick‘s films, including “Tree of Life.” Also won last year for “Gravity.”
* My new hero is the person who started the play-off music just as some boring, nothing-category winner said “Once upon a time there was a freckled-faced little boy…”
* And the Oscar for best supporting actress is… Patricia Arquette for “Boyhood.” Reads her entire speech about equal rights for women in America off a piece of paper. J.K. Simmons memorized his.
* Why doesn’t the Academy Awards hand out Oscars for Sound Mixing and the like at 4 in the afternoon like the Grammys? “Whiplash” won, by the way, so now there are three more nobodies who will have “Oscar winner” on the first sentence of their obits.
* Really, Tim McGraw? Gonna put on that big, stupid cowboy hat to sing the Glen Campbell song? Goes with a tux like gravy on a spring roll. Maybe it was just a setup for Neil Patrick Hairless to come out in his tidy caucasians.
* “Butter Lamp” was robbed in live action short film! “The Phone Call”? You’ve gotta be kidding me!
* “Everything Is Awesome” but that lame song from “The Lego Movie.” Devo, Questlove, Tegan and Sara, Lonely Island, psychedelic production and a tune any one of us could write on the way to the grocery store tonight.
* “Ida” (Poland) wins best foreign film. Apparently Polish hip-hop is talking over the play-em-off music.
* J.K. Simmons wins the night’s first statue for best supporting actor for “Whiplash.” Bunch of idiots strutting around their living rooms like they know something. Everybody picked Simmons.
* Everytime they show Lady Gaga in the audience I think it’s the ESPY awards. She looks like a WNBA forward in her first gown.
* Confession: I’ve never quite made out Sharon Stone‘s cootch in that leg-crossing scene from “Basic Instinct,” spoofed in Neil Patrick Harris‘s music intro. It’s the Marfa Lights of notorious movie scenes.
* Lady Gaga‘s Secret Service milk maid dress took two months to make? That designer wasted more time than Sly on “There’s a Riot Goin’ On.” I guess the Amish market is the only one Frau Gaga has yet to conquer.
* If Glen Campbell wins for Best Song and Julianne Moore takes Best Actress, this could be a good year for Alzheimer’s awareness on an international stage.
* The Oscars haven’t even started yet and you can be sure there’s a headline writer at the Statesman staring at JOYHOOD! with fingers crossed.
* Is there any occupation in showbiz less dignified than Red Carpet interviewer? Even the circus janitor’s gotta be thinking “but for the grace of God.” But Robin Roberts is really good at it and deserves an Emmy for her Oscar role.
* First Red Carpet disaster of the night was Melanie Griffith, whose had more work done than a ’64 Impala used as cover in a gang shootout. (Name one person who looks better after extensive plastic surgery.) Daughter Dakota “Fifty Shades of Gray” Johnson seemed a little put off that her mom hasn’t seen her soft-core screen turn. Just be thankful, Mel, your daughter’s not a cast member of “Girls.”
Colorado and Washington have legal weed, with other states not far behind on that cash crop. We know that Texas isn’t going to let common sensimilla prevail, not on Dr. Strangegov’s watch. Just like with casino gambling, all our neighboring states will benefit from the stick up the Lone Star State’s ass. But there’s one area in which Texas could be the frontrunner- and make the Academy Awards infinitely more interesting: legalize pari-mutual wagering for the Oscars! Who cares about the Sound Mixing and Production Design awards? You would be if you had $20 on the “Into the Woods” team that went off at 6-1.
OSCAR NOMINEES FOR 2015
Michael Corcoran’s predictions in bold.
Earlier in the year, I thought Richard Linklater‘s “Boyhood,” which got the best reviews and had that “12 Years A Story Servant” thing going, was a lock on Best Picture. But it seems that “Birdman” has taken flight in Hollywood buzz. I think it’ll be a split: Linklater gets Best Director (and Sandra Adair Best Editing), while “Birdman” takes Best Picture. My only real upset choice is Bradley Cooper in “American Sniper” over Michael Keaton‘s “Birdman.” I just think people are loving Bradley Cooper hard and heavy these days- and the film community does, too.
The powerful civil rights drama “Selma” is a sentimental choice for many, but it’s got a better chance of being screened at the LBJ Library than winning the Best Picture Oscar. It should win Best Original Song, though fading favorite Glenn Campbell is a sentimental choice.
But the real fun starts with the Sunday night bitchfest on social meds. I’ll be live-blogging with all the snark of a gay pro wrestling league. But then I’ll be live jogging during the flabby two-hour midsection of “Entertainment’s Longest Night.” So bookmark and let’s watch and dish together.
The Academy Awards show, hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, airs Sunday at 6 p.m. on ABC.
Best Picture
- “American Sniper”
- “Birdman”
- “Boyhood”
- “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
- “The Imitation Game”
- “Selma”
- “The Theory of Everything”
- “Whiplash”
Best Actor
- Steve Carell, “Foxcatcher”
- Bradley Cooper, “American Sniper”
- Benedict Cumberbatch, “The Imitation Game”
- Michael Keaton, “Birdman”
- Eddie Redmayne, “The Theory of Everything”
Best Actress
- Marion Cotillard, “Two Days, One Night”
- Felicity Jones, “The Theory of Everything”
- Julianne Moore, “Still Alice”
- Rosamund Pike, “Gone Girl”
- Reese Witherspoon, “Wild”
Best Supporting Actor
- Robert Duvall, “The Judge”
- Ethan Hawke, “Boyhood”
- Edward Norton, “Birdman”
- Mark Ruffalo, “Foxcatcher”
- J.K. Simmons, “Whiplash”
Best Supporting Actress
- Patricia Arquette, “Boyhood”
- Laura Dern, “Wild”
- Keira Knightley, “The Imitation Game”
- Emma Stone, “Birdman”
- Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods”
Cinematography
- “Birdman”
- “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
- “Ida”
- “Mr. Turner”
- “Unbroken”
Directing
- Alejandro González Iñárritu, “Birdman”
- Richard Linklater, “Boyhood”
- Bennett Miller, “Foxcatcher”
- Wes Anderson, “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
- Morten Tyldum, “The Imitation Game”
Foreign Language Film
- “Ida,” Poland
- “Leviathan,” Russia
- “Tangerines,” Estonia
- “Timbuktu,” Mauritania
- “Wild Tales,” Argentina
Adapted Screenplay
- “American Sniper”
- “The Imitation Game”
- “Inherent Vice”
- “The Theory of Everything”
- “Whiplash”
Original Screenplay
- “Birdman”
- “Boyhood”
- “Foxcatcher”
- “The Grand Budapest Hotel”
- “Nightcrawler”
Documentary Feature
- “Citizenfour”
- “Finding Vivian Maier”
- “Last Days in Vietnam”
- “The Salt of the Earth”
- “Virunga”
Original Song
- “Everything Is Awesome,” “The Lego Movie”
- “Glory,” “Selma”
- “Grateful, “Beyond the Lights”
- “I”m Not Gonna Miss You,” “Glen Campbell: I’ll Be Me”
- “Lost Stars,” “Begin Again”
Here are the list of all the nominees with their trailers.